I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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