try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
