I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
