she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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