EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
