you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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