nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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