the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
