But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
