smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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