Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
