we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
