I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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