Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
