you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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