porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
