I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
