is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
