Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
