yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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