He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
