In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
