I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
In America we eat man semen.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
