So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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