so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
