who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
