he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
