I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
