I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
