After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
