please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
