i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
