Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
