Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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