It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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