I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
