I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
