maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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