I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
