accomplished twins. life is a go
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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