matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
