you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
