I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
