I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
