wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
God gave him joint rollers for hands
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
