I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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