I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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