Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
