I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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