You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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