all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
